I'm baaaaaccckkkk...

What's up people?


Yes, I have returned from the great land of Österreich. I'm back on campus and it's time to start posting again-- due to popular demand.


My next post will be a Trip Report from my summer in Europe (shout out to FT!). Should be up in the next couple of days.

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Alright kids, enjoy the rest of your week.

Shitski out.

Parents: Welcome to the World

Dear parents: I hope you take no offense to the following post. Thanks.

Ahh, Purdue students. Welcome to the longest week of your life. We're only five days away from spring break. I hope you're headed somewhere warm. Anyway...

So, I was at a party this past Friday night. And let me tell you: it was C-R-A-Z-Y.

 

That's me on the left!

Naw, that's not really me. And don't worry, the party did not get too crazy. In fact, a couple people started taking pictures. I have to say that I am not at all ashamed of the pictures I am in. In fact, there are two posted on my Facebook profile. When these oh-so-shameful pictures appeared on Facebook, a couple of my buddies were asked to be un-tagged. Well, I thought it was weird cause the pictures weren't bad at all. But of course, I obliged and untagged them. I was a little curious as to why they were so concerned about perfectly acceptable photos being on Facebook:

 

Look! Mom and Dad know how to use a computer!

It's not old news that lots of parents today have Facebook accounts. Is it wrong that they have Facebooks? No. Is it a little weird? Yes. I mean, technology is changing. Parents like to have them because they can keep up with their co-workers, family members, and most of all: their kids. Yes, technology has allowed us to do new, crazy things. Facebook was originally intended for college students to network. It has obviously become much more than that. There are good and bad things that people can do with Facebook.

Parents-- Let's be honest: 90% of the reason you even got a Facebook was because you could keep track of your kid. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. But you secretly hope it will deter them from making wrong choices. I have a secret to tell you:

YOUR KIDS AREN'T STUPID.

Seriously, we're not. I know you mean well, but just because you have a Facebook isn't going to stop your kids from doing anything. Now, a couple of my friends had me un-tag them (again, from perfectly acceptable photos) for the following reasons:

Friend #1: "Yeah, my parents would probably pull me out of college."

Friend #2: "If my Dad found out he would hang me!"

Friend #3: "My parents are real sticklers."

The three people who spoke those words are in the photo below. Per their request, I have pixelated their faces. You know what we were doing? We had a couple beers. Come on parents, you know your kids are drinking in college. Hell, you sent them to Purdue, IU, and Ball State! Those schools have some of the largest Greek systems in the country!

  

Looks pretty crazy to me...

Do you mean to tell us that you did not drink in college?

We know you care about us, but think about it: Your parents didn't stalk you back then.

It's life and we all have to experience college some time... Let us do it without you breathing down our backs.

Of course, I'm not condoning anyone to do anything illegal...

Again, I hope you parents out there don't get offended by this... Just wanted to tell you reality.

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Have a great spring break everyone.
Shitski out.

The Secret Life of a Customer Service Agent

What's up people?

Yeah, I've been lazy. But busy. So I have an excuse. Anyway, here's the latest installment of my blog. Please comment if you'd like. Enjoy!

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OK- Before reading, please watch the following clip (I promise it's the only one in this post):

Ignore the Swedish, unless you actually know Swedish...

Now, show of hands. Who has had the following experience (not including totaling a rental car)? Did you have a mean customer service agent? Did they not give you what you wanted? Shame on them YOU! That's right, shame on you! Again, show of hands: were you rude to the customer service agent? Did you raise your voice? Did you have a sense of entitlement? Were you a D.Y. K.W.I.A.? If so, then you deserve it. Please, allow me to explain.

Let's say you've just arrived at the hotel in time for your shift, at 3pm. You're a little off today. You're tired, your feet hurt, and you just don't feel motivated. Why? Because earlier in the day, you got the credit card bill in the mail, and it was bigger than you expected. You also forgot to return your movie to Blockbuster (you should be using Netflix anyway) and now there's a late fee. You were also out of coffee cream when you tried to have coffee when you woke up. After that, you dropped your shiny new iPhone in the crapper. And then you were running late for work when you couldn't find your shoes. Wow, it sounds like you're having a terrible, no good, absolutely horrible very bad day. Poor you. But guess what: no one cares. You have to suck it up and get over it. Back to the current scene: you've just walked in the door and you're logging on to your computer. And this is what you get: 

 

Why, nice to see you too!

A Platinum-Premier-Diamond-Titanium member! He walks up to the desk and just stares at you. You ponder the awkward moment for a second and then remember: "Oh wait, that's right! I'm supposed to read your mind and already know your name!" Too bad, he's already fired off an email to corporate on his CrackBerry about the absolutely terrible service he's receiving. The rest of his family starts to pour in. He decides to kindly ask demand a free upgrade to a suite from his already free room. Well, do I have any available? But before you can answer, he starts bitching about how his drink on the plane had an odd number of ice cubes.

 

Life sure is hard when you're on a plane to your vacation sipping a Bloody Mary...

Yes, I've got 4 left for the evening. Yet again, you ponder this for a moment while you watch his grubby little children devils shove each other trying to stick their sticky fingers all over your fresh baked cookies, not leaving any for the other guests.

 

Get the f*ck out of my cookie jar child!

You excuse yourself, saying that you'll have to check with your manager about that upgrade. As you ease away from the desk, you head to the back with a big grin on your face as you know he ain't gettin' jack shit. You go to the back, say hello to your coworkers, and maybe have a quick snack. Then you speed walk out of the back (to make it look like you're trying to hurry them along) and get their hopes up-- but all is lost when I inform you that there aren't any available. "But maybe tomorrow night," you tell them... But in all reality, there's no way in hell he's getting an upgrade. OK, he says. He now demands a corner room. He's in luck! You have plenty of those available! So you give him the corner room overlooking the dumpster and next to the service elevator and stairway. That way, when he's trying to sleep in on his hard earned vacation (actually, he earned those points while staying on the government rate), housekeeping knocks on his door first thing, bright and early.

Finally, they take their 10 keys (of course, they need two for each family member) and go up to their room.

Ready for the icing on the cake? I'm going to give that enormous presidential suite to the one-time guest who doesn't even ask (or even want) for an upgrade. They'll be the one to ask how your day is going or something of the like. If they show even the slightest effort to treat me as an equal, then they're going to get the royal treatment. They'll get the upgrade, free breakfast for the next morning, and hell, I might even send up a nice bottle of wine!

 

That's a sweet suite.

Now, does this really happen? 

ALL. THE. TIME.

No, I'm not kidding. This really does happen. Just ask ANYONE who has worked in customer service. Now, I bet you want to avoid this same scenario. I will let you in on a little secret:

Be polite.

Seriously, that goes a long way. Whether you're at the airport, hotel, car rental counter or any other place, this really can take you a long way. Flight canceled? You might end up in first class on the next flight. Room not what you booked? You might get a suite instead. You never know... So please, I ask this on behalf of all hospitality and service industry workers:

Please, treat us like human beings.

Even the smallest things-- like asking how my day has been-- can go a long way... more than you will ever know.

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I dedicate this blog post to all of my co-workers in the hospitality industry.

I hope the rest of you are enjoying the snow...

***I am poking fun. If you can't take a joke, then you probably shouldn't be reading my blog.***

My hats off to you, Edarem...

What's up world. Hope your week is one from hell, like mine.

For you YouTubers out there, have you heard of Edarem?

Meet Edarem.

If so, great. If not, where have you been? Edarem is awesome. He is THE most aweomse (and sorta creepy) person I've ever seen in my entire life. But you know what? The first time I watched one of his videos, I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants. Now, for those who have seen him and don't appreciate his work, I understand. While I find it unfortunate you don't find it hilarious, you are an idiot. Plain and simple. So I thank Edarem for making me laugh.

***Cause it's currently the week from hell, I won't be writing a lot in this post. Get over it. Just watch a video or two.***

Did you ever have a pretty woman?

I can feel it.

To be honest, it really isn't that difficult.

I will not be trying that anytime soon.

Well, there you have it. Featuring over 200 videos, Edarem is there to help you save some salad dressing, slice a bagel into four slices, paint your own shadow, and more!

OF COURSE: I must give credit to Brooke for sharing these delights with me.

She'd also like to remind you to eat your vegetables.

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Have a good night everyone. Hopefully you won't have nightmares of Edarem-- like Brooke did.

Ode to Judge Judy

Welcome back! Before I begin this next post, I'd like to make a shoutout to the owner of the clothes in Washing Machine B2. There's a reason you're not supposed to leave your laundry unattended, and I just proved that. Maybe you'll follow the rules next time (and maybe I'll remember to look in the machine before I start it).

This post is going to another celebrity. Today, I'd like to mention a special someone who works very hard. She never rests putting criminals in their place-- and yet, she isn't celebrated nearly enough. At this time, I'd like to ask you to put your hands together for none other than Judge Judy Sheindlin.

This is the only time you will see her smile.

Now, most of you know that Judge Judy has a reality television show. Not some reality crap; like Jersey Shore, for instance. The cases are real. The people are real. The verdicts are final. You feel as if you are really in her courtroom! Now that is what I call reality.

Now why is Judge Judy so great?

Simple: She. Knows. Everything.

She really does! She knows what is right and what is wrong. She knows when people are lying or telling the truth. She knows when you're playing dumb or if you're really a dumbass. What more could you want? Even though it will never happen, I can only hope that one day she will become the highest paid government official. In fact, she should be president! She's done more work than Obama will ever do! But, I digress as we do not live in a perfect world.

But most of all, I have to give her credit because she deals with some of the finest idiots the United States of America has to offer. If I were the judge, these people would be getting life sentences just for being ignoramuses. Plus, my brain would probably explode just from having to deal with idiots all day.

Let's bring in our first case.

In the video below, you have a mother and a daughter. The mother and daughter each purchased a cell phone off of the popular bidding site, eBay. The seller (idiot) said she sold them a picture of the cell phone. Wrong. [I suggest watching at 3:01 and 3:40 if you don't have time for all of it.]

Sheer genius.

I would call that intense. But you know what? She got what she deserved. She truly is an outrageous person. I hope she learned her lesson.

Do you understand why she is so tense all the time? Now, I won't bore you with a ton of videos (like my last post) because I know most of you have lives. So please allow me to ask one thing of you: Embrace Judge Judy like I have. She needs it so she can continue to work with the morons. There are two popular ways to support her:

1. Look at her all the time. Set the picture below as the background on your phone.

"You are an outrageous person."

2. Get a tatoo. The one I got (below) is preferred.

 

Speak the truth!

3. Be your own Judge Judy. That's right, click on the link below for a Judge Judy soundboard. Great for prank calling your bosses and other people you don't like!

eBaums World: Judge Judy Soundboard

For some reason, people think I have this weird obsession with Judge Judy. It is outrageous for you to think that. She is amazing and that is that. You just haven't seen the light yet.

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Enjoy your Monday off.

"What do you think?" I want your feedback. Please let me know what you think. Something you would like me to write about? Use the comment link below.

Celebrity of the Century: Sam Pak

I hope those of you who are going to melt your brain at the Lady Gaga concert tonight have a great horrible time. I am, however, thankful you're getting some insight with my blog. That will lessen the effect of her music. Anyway... It's finally here! This award goes to the Celebrity of the Century. Before the introduction, I'd like to give you a little background.

Just over 2 years ago, my family and I arrived in Florida in December. We were spending our Christmas holiday with family. Because I was tired from traveling, the first thing I did when we got to the condo was turn on the TV. Yes, you read correctly. I was in Florida in 70 degree temperatures. The sun was shining. I was out of the Indiana winter. And what did I do? I turned on the television. I'm a lazy American, sue me. I start to flip channels. What I saw changed my life (and my family's life) forever.

Ladies and gentlemen: I give you...

Sam Pak!!

Congratulations!

For those of you who don't live in Florida, let me introduce you to Appliance Direct. Opened in 1995, Sam Pak started selling quality, name brand appliances at low prices with great customer service. It's that attitude that has him so successful. Now, what exactly is Sam famous for?

Wakkie Nu Nu

Germs

Cleveland

Truck Slap

My personal favorite: Chicken and a Fan

However, don't be fooled by these imitators:

However, I can't give all the credit to just Sam. Please give it up for his co-star, Lee!

 

Now, I hope you understand why Sam and Lee are getting this award. They both bring happiness to the world (well, mainly Florida)!


But most of all:

I'd like to thank Sam Pak for being a different kind of celebrity. Thank you for not crashing your SUV at 2:28 in the morning. Thank you for not going to rehab every weekend. Thank you for not having an affair with 393,530,028 women. Thank you for not driving drunk. Thank you for not being addicted to drugs. Thank you for not being a weird pop singer. Thank you for not being someone you're not.

Thank you for adding humor to my vacation life. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for your very clever commercials. Thank you for the t-shirt you sent me when I joined your fan club. Thank you for your low priced, name brand appliances. Thank you for teaching me how to cook a better chicken-- with a fan.

Thank you for Appliance Direct. And remember:

"If you didn't buy direct, you paid too much!"

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Have a great weekend everyone.

Thanks to ApplianceDirect.com & ChickenAndAFanClub.com for pictures and info

NEXT UP: Ode to Judge Judy

Proper Gym Etiquette

***I know I promised my next post to be "The World of Appliance Direct," but a more urgent matter needs to be discussed first.***

Ah, it's that time of year again. You've just returned to school. You've come back refreshed and now you're ready to start the new semester. But you've done something else: you've made New Year's Resolutions. And what is the resolution on the top of everyone's list?


1. Get back in shape.

You know what? That's great. It really is. Staying/getting in shape can have numerous positive effects on your life. These include stress reduction, improved immunity, and lost weight. Now, unfortunately, 50% of you will not even attempt this. If you're the other 50% that was at the RSC tonight, good for you. And also--

Shame on you.

You know what? I apologize. That was just a little too harsh. Let me clarify: where is your common sense (Actually, a friend of mine and I decided to rename it to 'uncommon sense' due to the lack of people that actually use common sense)? I think it's great that you're the half that actually attempted to get back in shape. But please, let me give you some pointers.

1. Wipe down the machines after you use them.

Can you say H1N1?

This is common courtesy (again, uncommon courtesy?). You don't need me to tell you all about the swine flu and spreading germs and washing hands... etc. Lame. We've heard it a million times already. But seriously. I do not enjoy your personal sweat/germs/bodily fluids that are still warm and sticky as I start my workout. It will only take about 15 seconds for you to get a towel and spray the machine down. And if there aren't any towels left, there are several paper towel dispensers around the fitness center.

2. Don't hog the machines.

 

Imagine this in the fitness center.

The picture above is a public pool in Japan. No, this is not a doctored photo. You have a 30 minute time limit on any cardio machine. Treadmill, elliptical, stationary bike, whatever. Even though you're going at the pace of 1mph, with the incline of 0, and texting/reading/doing homework at the same time, I can't make you get off. However, you're off of that thing as soon as time is up. And also-- in order to lose weight, you actually have to work a little. Crazy, right?

3. Clear the jogging track!

Notice the lines?

Can you see the lines painted on the jogging track? Notice how the runners are staying inside the lines? That's how you're supposed to run. If you're a jogger or walker, stay to the inside of the track. Just like the sign says. I know, CRAZY STUFF!!! Also, I know you might have the urge to run counter-clockwise on the days you're supposed clockwise, but there are people out there who can help you with that. And believe you me, you don't want me to help you with that. 

4. Have a plan.

Why, you look confused!

It doesn't help to just "show up" at the gym. What are you going to do? Cardio? Weights? Yoga? Swimming? Boxing? Basketball? Squash? There are a ton a possibilities. It does not help for you to pick some random machine, that you have no idea how to work, work out for about five minutes, forget to wipe down the machine, and then ponder your next move. Please do not repeat this over and over again. It does not help you and it doesn't help anyone else. If you don't know how to use the piece of equipment, then ask someone. The staff, another student-- anyone. Most of us are willing to help. But just a piece of advice-- I would not advise asking me at the moment.

5. Get out of the way!

 

Piece. Of. Crap.

Yes, I'm talking to you. Yes, you, the group of six girls who work out for about four and a half minutes and then go stand in front of the water fountain and gossip for about 30 minutes. Yes, I know it's a crappy fountain, but I'm thirsty. Get out of my way. Get out of my gym. And stay out.

Again, I encourage you and your health goals. I simply ask that you make it a pleasant experience for everyone.

Before I end, I'd like to make to make a formal complaint. If anyone at the RSC is reading this, pay close attention.

Your staff is worthless.

They're worse than the girls who stand by the water fountain. Just earlier today, I caught them like this:

It's safe to say that no body does anything down there-- oh wait, my mistake. They work very, very hard. Harder than me even! If you consider watching TV and chatting with co-workers working, then yes, they work very hard. It would be nice to have clean towels every once in a while. Check out my pictures of the clean towel basket on a Sunday (a usually slow night) night.

9:00pm

 

9:30pm.

 

10:00pm

 

10:30pm

 

 11:00pm

 

11:30pm

Catching my drift?

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Good night everyone. I hope your week is going better than mine.