Sunday, January 17, 2010

Ode to Judge Judy

Welcome back! Before I begin this next post, I'd like to make a shoutout to the owner of the clothes in Washing Machine B2. There's a reason you're not supposed to leave your laundry unattended, and I just proved that. Maybe you'll follow the rules next time (and maybe I'll remember to look in the machine before I start it).

This post is going to another celebrity. Today, I'd like to mention a special someone who works very hard. She never rests putting criminals in their place-- and yet, she isn't celebrated nearly enough. At this time, I'd like to ask you to put your hands together for none other than Judge Judy Sheindlin.

This is the only time you will see her smile.

Now, most of you know that Judge Judy has a reality television show. Not some reality crap; like Jersey Shore, for instance. The cases are real. The people are real. The verdicts are final. You feel as if you are really in her courtroom! Now that is what I call reality.

Now why is Judge Judy so great?

Simple: She. Knows. Everything.

She really does! She knows what is right and what is wrong. She knows when people are lying or telling the truth. She knows when you're playing dumb or if you're really a dumbass. What more could you want? Even though it will never happen, I can only hope that one day she will become the highest paid government official. In fact, she should be president! She's done more work than Obama will ever do! But, I digress as we do not live in a perfect world.

But most of all, I have to give her credit because she deals with some of the finest idiots the United States of America has to offer. If I were the judge, these people would be getting life sentences just for being ignoramuses. Plus, my brain would probably explode just from having to deal with idiots all day.

Let's bring in our first case.

In the video below, you have a mother and a daughter. The mother and daughter each purchased a cell phone off of the popular bidding site, eBay. The seller (idiot) said she sold them a picture of the cell phone. Wrong. [I suggest watching at 3:01 and 3:40 if you don't have time for all of it.]

Sheer genius.

I would call that intense. But you know what? She got what she deserved. She truly is an outrageous person. I hope she learned her lesson.

Do you understand why she is so tense all the time? Now, I won't bore you with a ton of videos (like my last post) because I know most of you have lives. So please allow me to ask one thing of you: Embrace Judge Judy like I have. She needs it so she can continue to work with the morons. There are two popular ways to support her:

1. Look at her all the time. Set the picture below as the background on your phone.

"You are an outrageous person."

2. Get a tatoo. The one I got (below) is preferred.


Speak the truth!

3. Be your own Judge Judy. That's right, click on the link below for a Judge Judy soundboard. Great for prank calling your bosses and other people you don't like!

For some reason, people think I have this weird obsession with Judge Judy. It is outrageous for you to think that. She is amazing and that is that. You just haven't seen the light yet.

Enjoy your Monday off.

"What do you think?" I want your feedback. Please let me know what you think. Something you would like me to write about? Use the comment link below.

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