John G. Shedd's Newest Scam: Fantasea

First and foremost, I'd like to wish all of my readers a Merry Christmas! I hope you were able to spend time with the ones you love. Now on to the blog!

Right after finals, I went on a trip to Chicago with Purdue's Hotel Sales & Marketing Association (HSMA). This was our incentive blitz for the semester. As a few of our members had not been to Chitown before, we decided to go to Shedd's Aquarium.

The John G. Shedd Aquarium

Now, for those of you who have not been to Shedd's Aquarium, it's a must-see the next time you're there. There are over 14,000 different species (please don't quote me on that number, I'm pretty sure it's wrong but there were still a ton of fish and other sea creatures) of fish! Take a look at my awesome pictures below.

Simply amazing photography, right?

 

Clown fish

I told you they were awesome.

Now, when we had checked into the museum, we were urged to make time to go see the "Fantasea" show. Apparently, it was a new and improved animal show. They had just spent 4 months redesigning it and it was really amazing; so we were told. So after viewing various kinds of fish, we made our way to the arena for the 3:30pm show. According to the signs, Fantasea was where we were supposed to "Let the journey begin..." Now, I was a little unsure as to what 'journey' we would be embarking on. Obviously, it was some promotional ploy. You see everything these days, I guess.

I was really scared at this point...

We found some seats (it was packed) surrounded by a bunch of children little devils.

Great, this will be a wonderful show. Soon enough, the lights dimmed and some new age music started playing. They asked us to turn off the flash on our cameras and then things started going. All of a sudden, a few ripples went across the still water and these über-creepy "things" came out of the water and started doing these weird dances and made moaning noises.

I introduce: Freak Number One.

 

Freak Number Two. Sorry for the blurriness.

Last but not least (not).

They then announced that they would need a 'volunteer' from the audience. Then, this 'random little girl' was 'randomly picked' out of the crowd. She was full of excitement (a little bit too full) as she made her way down to the stage. Then, another 'thing' presented her with this necklace out of an oversized, plastic oyster shell.

"Random" little girl getting her necklace.

Again, full of excitement, she eagerly showed the crowd her newly prized possession. About half a second later, a boat (yes, a boat) descended from the ceiling! Wowee! The little girl, full of excitement (at this point, I'm pretty sure she's full of shit), and the thing both got into the boat (can you say molestation charges) and floated away into the magical, screen-projected sky!

Can you say Amber Alert? I did.

 

If only the cables had snapped... now THAT would be a show!

After she crossed the sea in the magical boat, she landed on Plymouth Rock and then a thing came out of the rock and they started playing with the Beluga Whales. Then some dolphins came out and did a couple of tricks

I've only seen dolphin jumps like a million times.

After that, some penguins (that had been crammed in a cart) came out and walked across the stage. Let me tell you, they were not happy. I'm thinking about suing for animal cruelty. Anyone have the number for the A.S.P.C.A.? After the lame penguins, everything when quiet again. All of a sudden, the sounds of flapping wings flooded our ears and out of nowhere, a bird man was flying all around us! Actually, he was just attached to a string being moved around. Lame.

I think this was Lame Freak #593019384092428025983902 of the show.

Not even his wings were flapping! After the bird man departed us, that damn boat appeared again and took the little girl back across the water. After she got out of the boat, her mother came out of the audience and they gave each other a big hug!

Mom: "I was worried sick when they took you!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was it. The show lasted maybe 30 minutes. I was so disappointed with the show. It had horrible acting and I didn't get to pet a single animal. Talk about a scam. I left asking myself what I had paid for. Did I pay for a mediocre, over the top, Vegas-style dolphin show? Absolutely not! I bet that if John G. Shedd knew what was going on (let alone be alive), he would probably pull his funding and take his name off of the building. In conclusion, you should not go and see "Fantasea." Do not "let your journey begin." If you do, you will suffer from unfortunate effects. When we left the show, it left all of us in bad moods. Especially Wara.

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 Enjoy the rest of your break everyone. 

PS: Shoutouts to Derek Nicholson & Wara Rollano for some of the pictures.

NEXT BLOG:
"The Art of People Watching"


DISCLAIMER: This blog is only intended to poke fun. If you don't find this funny, then screw you.